Causing Harm (Recorded)

I once had a friend ask me this question: How do I understand (know) if I are causing harm to others?

This was difficult for me to answer because honestly, I don’t always know. I had to learn social norms by trial and error, getting into trouble or making people angry with me because I did not fully understand the impact my actions had on those around me. People are complicated, and for those of us who struggle to understand the intricacies of human relations it can be very frustrating.

I have often caused harm or hurt someone’s feelings and not known it. I had to be told. While we can not always know if what we are doing or saying is harmful, I believe what is more important is what we do once we know that we have caused harm. If someone becomes upset, we need to let go of our pride and ask if we said/ did something that hurt them. We need to be willing to apologize and ask for forgiveness, even if in our minds we were not doing anything wrong or unkind. What hurts one person may not hurt someone else.

I feel like I should have a clever maxim or something to wrap this up, but I don’t. Maybe a pithy saying that could go on a t-shirt or cat poster. Ah well, such is life. Bottom line, you are going to mess up human interactions, and that’s okay. Remember that when you are asking others for forgiveness, forgive yourself too.